Add a Little Happy to your Mother's Day

Today is your day, Happy Mother's Day!...now get your ass out of bed...

Go make everyone breakfast, with all of your children's assistance in making ridiculous shaped pancakes, wasting three batches of practices on the bursting dog, then float them in $16 of real syrup. Serve along with eggs covered in garlic and 2lbs of Cinnamon, including the shells... but you'll happily eat in its entirety, because you're mom and well, have ate worse... Yet, call it Brunch because frankly, its more elegant, but realistically because there wont be time for lunch...

Then, bake yourself a cake. Continue screaming at your children, which started as your head lifted the pillow...only now to quit slamming the oven door and jumping around, or they just may ruin the cake including parsley, the Barbie shoe, and three extra cups of water, and splashed into the un-greased, but sneezed in pan. Clean up all the graffiti of wasted Pam, spray-painted through your kitchen like a city over-pass...but, without getting mad because, damn it, Ashlyn finally got her "s" facing in the right direction. Hugs and kisses instead of beat-downs and broken blood vessels! Yea, no more Azhlyn!

End the fighting over, who gets to sit closest on the counter... by yanking them all down, and throwing the chair. Wipe off your six favorite little helping hands-- but not until after they have drug them down the wallpaper through the dinning room, and smeared chocolate onto the windows and t.v., which dad's been watching all morning. ...Well because he said it best, "I thought this was your day to have with them...?" (Yep, you got it, so at midnight I'll be turning into a pumpkin, and not returning until the second Sunday of next May) 

Clean up the marker and dripping glue off the couch, carpet, and walls-- because you love that most beautiful damn card ever constructed from your bank statement, popsicle sticks, and three bottles of glue. Scrub the plant dirt off your white comforter, as your daughter possibly couldn't wait for you to wake before giving you her sprouted seeds in the sticker'ed pot, she created in Pre-school.

Explain to the Mall Security how it is in every one's best interest for use of an appliance cart wrapped in barbed wire rather than a stroller, while shopping with all the kids, to buy yourself something you really wanted... But naturally, ended up being six bags from the Baby Gap, three happy meals, and another useless fringed light-up ball... simply to cover in lint and dog hair, and that will quit working by the end of the car ride.

Now give your husband back his wallet so he can buy you flowers; which will get knocked from the vase three times this afternoon, but live on the counter until they've crumbled into the toaster and the water smells of housing tadpoles. By fourth of July you should finally have your money's worth and may dispose...

...and let's pull the sucker stick out and do something with that hair of yours, washing it is a start ...after all, this is a special day...

Now, put on a smile and pretend this is your damn day, because someone long ago came up with one day of celebration, instead of 364 other days of appreciation! ...and because it's simply not everyday you get to be the kick-ass mother... it's every moment, but acknowledged today!